brain candy

THIS N THAT AND THE OTHER

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Put Your Head on My Shoulder

Below are some quotations, some are famous and some are not and most will never be famous but it's a little brain candy and if your like me you need all the help you can get.

And away we go.

" There is a little GOOD in the worst of us--a little BAD in the best of us; it behooves NONE of us to speak ill of the rest of us."

You will usually do better for yourself then by letting others do for you.

If there are things you don't like in this world you grew up in, make your life different.

Work as though you would live forever, and live as though you are going to die today.

To educate a man or woman in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.

They are not able to do because there is not a government program showing them how to do.

People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of ones

own character.

This next piece of candy is world famous and is seen on the monitor screen many times a day, it makes one wonder why they put the on /off button on the computer because when it hangs up you can't turn it off you have to unplug it.

Because windows was not shut down properly, one or more of your Disk Drives may have errors on it. Now comes the part I like the best and would like to find the numb nuts at Microsoft and beat them over the head with a wet fish. To avoid seeing this message again always shut down your computer by selecting shut down from the start menu. Scandisk is now checking for errors. These people are thought to be smart but how in gods name do you shut down by the start menu if it's hung up and you can't click on nothing and you can't use the on/off button to shut down. Therefore all of Microsoft gets the golden numb nut award from me. And I'm sure many others-----Right?

America I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore. George Carlin

Here are a few short ones I am sure you have heard some of them before.

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

Take all you want to eat but eat all you take on your plate.

While on a trip--You think you can't get there from here.

While on a trip--You think your never going to get there.

We have the worst luck of anybody we know.

If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

What's that got to do with the price of eggs?

The best part about cooking is the end result.

What's not on satellite t v tonight?

Read the instruction booklet only after you try putting it together and it don't work.

Old wive's tale--Good children are seen and not heard.

The best snake is a dead snake.

Proven fact--Even after cutting off a snakes head it won't die until the sun goes down.

Old wive's tale --A watched pot takes longer to boil.

I' ve got the luck of the Irish.

Spare the rod and spoil the child.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

Old wive's tale--Lightening never strikes the same place twice.

Too many cooks in the kitchen spoil the stew.

If you want to know which way the wind is blowing look at a cow or horse as they will turn their rear toward the wind.

The safest place in the world is your bed and only then if the roof doesn't fall in.

The one person in the whole world you don't want mad at you is your wife, all the others you can put up with.

Never tell the boss he's wrong even though he is, do the job his way and make him happy for your sake.

My grandmother once told me life's to short to put up with trouble because it's easy to get into and will follow you all your life.

President Kennedy--Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. ( Things have changed. )

In America, anybody can become president, after all Clinton did.

( this a quote from a world leader )

I am proud to be paying taxes, the thing is -I would be just as proud for half the money.

Once a boy becomes a man , he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy untill she becomes your wife.

The Beatles, said the Decca record co, We don't like their music and besides guitar music is on the way out. ( 1962 )

Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregant.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

The great masses of the people-will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.

The difference between pornography and erotica is the lighting.

If I were two faced would I be wearing this one?

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other poor bastard die for his.

Tecumseh Shawnee Indian Leader, Speaking to a gathering of chief's from many Indian Nation's about selling or tradeing land to the white man.

No tribe has the right to sell, even to each other, much less to strangers-sell a country! Why not sell the air, the great sea, as well as the earth? Didn't the Great Sprit make them all for the use of his children.